We made it through the past few weeks and we made it through the boys first week of public school. We are settling in to our new home and we really pray that this is our last move EVER. We were so exhausted after this last move. We are getting too old for this. :)
After A LOT of prayer we had decided to put the boys into public school. It is a small country school 15 miles out of town. Grant is in 2nd grade. We decided to put him in 2nd instead of 3rd because we would rather them move him up instead of backwards if he wasn't ready for 3rd. It was a good choice. He is doing really well. Sawyer is in the pre-K program twice a week and he really enjoys it. Eli is in 1st grade and I couldn't have asked for a better teacher for him. All of the boys teachers are Christians and there are only ten kids per class. There are 2 other families that used to homeschool that attend there as well.
The ELI saga begins:
I have always known that Eli is exactly like his father. Eric had a hard time in school because he was too smart and independent for his own good. We had some struggles in homeschooling but we could always work through them. Eli has desperately wanted to go to school for the past 6 months. He wanted more school work, arts, crafts, etc and I didn't have it in me to do even more. He loves school...BUT he has a hard time with authority. Each day this week he has had some situation with the teacher that she has had to talk to us about.
By Wednesday he had screamed at 2 different teachers. The next morning Eric went with him and he had to apologize. We are all about being respectful in our house. So even after getting into trouble that day, at the dinner table he wanted to pray. This is what he prayed, "Thank you God that we get to go to school. It is awesome!" I thought after all of that Thursday would be a better day.
I went to pick the boys up from school and the teacher was dragging him through the front door of the school. My heart dropped into my stomach. She looked totally frazzled. Apparently when it was time to line up he didn't because he had a sticker in his hand. When she went to help him he took off running. He ran off the playground and their is just farmland behind the school. She had to chase him down. :(
She told me that she has never had a student like him. Our perception is that it took us a long time to establish our authority with him and now it is starting all over. She has to establish her authority with him. Are we going to go through this every year with each teacher? I don't want him to be that kid that the teachers dread getting in their class. It seems like he thought when he went to school that he would have no rules. He doesn't like that part. We are backing the teacher up and trying to show Eli that we are all a team including him and that we want to help him and we are here for him, but there are consequences to his actions.
When I told my husband about him running into the farmland he laughed and laughed. He relates so much and he had a horrible time in school. It is amazing that he graduated from high school. Eric is my hope. He is a hard working, intelligent, loving husband and father. He is a fully functioning member of society, but like Eli, he always chose the hard way.
I have prayed so much about sending them to school for the past 3 months and I was questioning whether I really heard from God or not. God confirmed to me that I truly had heard from Him and He told me that He knows what the future holds and that this is preparing Eli for his future. I am going to have to seek God each and every day on what to say, do, think, and pray. Eli doesn't want me helping in his classroom, but that is part of his independence. I can't let him think he has control over me either, which is a big part of Eli's personality is that he wants to be independent and in control. He also only wants to follow the rules that he wants to follow.
Is this a second child thing? We have tried to affirm him in so many ways. I have read so many parenting books I can't even count anymore. We are so blessed that we have a teacher that wants to help and is not giving up, yet.
If anyone has ANY insight please share. We need any help we can get. And no, he doesn't have ADHD.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
We survived! And we need advice
at 12:02 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hi Liberty,
I've been thinking about a lot. Sorry about the situation you are having with Eli. Could you possibly leave the baby with someone and go to class with Eli?
Maybe it could be a privilege earned to be at school all
day without Mom to be earned. It's a mystery raising kids sometimes! It is good you have God!
So, why did you move?
I say ditch the parenting books and look straight into God's word. Disobedience is sin. We are all called to the standard God has layed out. The fruits of the spirit teach these. Yes each child is different, brilliant, and can be a challenge but the standard of God's principles are never altered based on an individual personality.
There needs to be a consequence for this kind of behavior. I know the most painful consequence for Ethan is writing sentances, taking away favorite toys, and earlier bed times.
It's not even about the teacher. He will have various teachers his entire life. It's about the parents, you and Eric stepping in and lovingly breaking that control and and will that is not of God.
I have had three like this, and believe me it's not be an easy task, but I see the fruits of my labor every single day and thank God for His word.
With Elliot I printed up a "score card".
1. Sat quietly at desk when asked.
2. Completed work when asked.
3. Stay in line when told.
4. Raised hand for permission to talk or use bathroom.
5. Thanked the teacher for her teaching you today.
He had to have all stars by each box that followed in order to avoid any consequence. If one box was not starred there was a HUGE consequence. Elliot was in control of his day. Elliot decided if he wanted to follow the rules and I had to follow through with the consequences. It took all of three weeks to get him in order and the years that followed were very good years with all of his teachers.
It is never the teacher, in my opinion when a child acts out. Behaviors are the device kids learn that works for them. I know ths sounds hardcore, but the reality is you either help your child or the system does, and personally I did not want anyone else training my child. I look at elliot today and the fine young man he is, as well as Emily and Ethan too.
Not one book could break down more easily the behaviors we are called to as the Bible. Blessings and Prayers sent your way.
Post a Comment