update and a theory

This past Sunday Jill went up to one of my friends at church and asked her if she knew where there were was anywhere she could get food. My friend said it was like she was fishing for money or an invite. My friend told her what she knew and moved on. I called my neighbor who is in the military here and he told me that the chapel has a food bank and all they have to do is call and food will be brought to them. So I texted her with the info and phone number. She just said thanks. I really hesitated initiating contact, but it was good because now she knows that we know the resources that are available to them and she can't make it seem like they are starving and destitute. Plus she's on WIC.

Okay, my theory. I was reading Heather's latest entry and I totally relate. I have thought about this a lot. I am a big fan of the Duggars. I really respect them and how they parent. However, if I start comparing my mothering style to Michelle Duggar's then I start being really critical of myself. I have a few friends who are similar to Michelle and they are never tired of being around their kids...EVER. In fact, it is quite the opposite. They can't be alone. I, on the other hand, could totally be alone.

This is what the Lord showed me as I prayed about this. It is all about being an introvert or an extrovert. Do you get your energy from being around people or being alone. I am an introvert in that I get totally re-energized from being alone. So this doesn't make me a bad mother or a worse mother than Michelle Duggar, I just need to make sure that I am getting some regular alone time so that I can be a good mother. Some people teach against this and say that that is selfish and we need to sacrifice for our kids. Believe me, I would do anything for my kids. But I want to be a GREAT mom and if that requires me having some time to myself on a weekly basis (that's what works for me) then I am going to do it. What is interesting is that I can have "alone" time and just be having coffee with another woman. I think adult conversation with a like-minded woman helps a lot. Those times are rare for me, but always good. I am so surrounded by testosterone that I think that is part of it for me. I need GIRL time.

So, if you think you are not a good mother, just take some time for yourself and give yourself some time to get excited to see your kids. When my boys were younger it always felt impossible to get away, but I made it a point to start going to a womens bible study at church and that helped so much. By the time I was pregnant with Sawyer, Eric started giving me Saturdays "off". I would just go to the movies or go read somewhere. It was good. I still try to get away one Saturday a month. So you moms of young children, if you feel like you are needing a break, find a way because it really does help.